Rihanna Shamed Snapchat Into an Apology. Here's Why Tech Companies Will Never Have Emotional Intelligence

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Every time a tech company does something patently ignorant or offensive, it"s rarely worth asking the question: "What were they thinking?"

Almost always, the answer is: "They weren"t."

And they certainly weren"t feeling.

An example is an ad released by Snapchat last week for its "Would You Rather!" game. It asked whether you"d rather "Slap Rihanna" or "Punch Chris Brown."

Really. Truly. 

In 2009, Brown and Rihanna were involved in a much-publicized incident of domestic violence. Brown was charged with battery.

And this is something to "joke" about?

Please, take a look.

Rihanna responding to Snapchat"s ad. I can"t believe they did this. pic.twitter.com/TpHQIXTm4j

-- Gennette Cordova (@GNCordova) March 15, 2018

Oh, Snapchat finally took the ad down and offered some sort of apology.

"The advert was reviewed and approved in error, as it violates our advertising guidelines. We immediately removed the ad last weekend, once we became aware. We are sorry that this happened," the company said.

You might have thought that it had somehow slipped out without anyone noticing. 

Yet this statement suggests that actual human beings examined it and decided it was appropriate for publication.

For her part, Rihanna has now offered a response -- remarkably measured, in the circumstances.

She said: "I"d love to call it ignorance, but I know you ain"t that dumb! You spent money to animate something that would bring shame to DV victims and made a joke of it!!!"

This is surely the point. You can"t blame a rogue algorithm here. You can"t blame a malevolent piece of code.

Someone designed this execrable item. Someone animated it and then someone looked at it and approved it. 

And no one stopped to think: "This is so thoroughly vile and tasteless that we should all be ashamed of ourselves?"

Shouldn"t all those someone"s face consequences?

"All the women, children and men that have been victims of DV in the past and especially the ones who haven"t made it out yet...you let us down!," continued the singer. "Shame on you. Throw the whole app-oligy away."

Snapchat tried again with, yes, an apology.

A company spokeswoman told me: "This advertisement is disgusting and never should have appeared on our service. We are so sorry we made the terrible mistake of allowing it through our review process. We are investigating how that happened so that we can make sure it never happens again."

But it will happen again. And again.

Tech companies rely so much on machines that many of their employees think exactly like those machines.

To reinforce the fatal loop, the people who create the code and algorithms behind the machines tend to think like machines, too.

So when decisions are made, any actual human emotions are cast aside. Or never even engaged. 

Worse, too many have grown up -- sort of -- with the belief that you move fast, break things and apologize later. 

Well, your PR people pen your apology, while you"re too busy coding. 

Apologizing is easy.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, for example, has made an art form out of it.

For example, after he and a colleague performed a VR promotion while staring blankly at the suffering homeless of Puerto Rico and high-fiving.

Will this complete blindness when it comes to understanding, appreciating and, frankly, even feeling human emotions ever change?

Unlikely.

Tech

Why You Should Prioritize Hiring for Emotional Intelligence

"You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want."

-- Harry "Zig" Ziglar, motivational speaker and sales guru

I"ve followed that nugget of wisdom for almost as long as I"ve been working, and I credit a lot of its impact to the eponymous founder of the Trammell Crow Company, the real estate development firm where I worked early in my career.

I recall back in 1974, shortly after I joined the company, Fortune magazine profiled our founder in an article titled, "Trammell Crow Succeeds Because You Want Him To," which captured the stories of many people who cheered Crow on to success after success.

It was well known in the industry even then, that Trammell always looked to acknowledge those with whom he worked. I remember one time I commented on a watch he was wearing. The next week, when I returned to my office, I found a new watch identical to it in a box on my desk. No note was attached, but I knew who sent the surprise gift.

I wasn"t alone. Over my 20-plus years at the company, I met financiers and bankers who told me that they were the ones who gave Trammell, a pioneer in commercial real estate, his start with his first loan. These lenders all felt that they were part of his success because he shared it with people and credited them.

This attitude extended to hiring as well. Trammell prioritized human interactions, people skills, situational awareness and emotional intelligence (EQ) in everyone he worked with. Smarts and passion were a given in new hires, but they also had to be the kind of person with whom you"d want to have a beer. They couldn"t be selfish, short-term thinkers, or make their own goals the priority.

The trick, he said, was to find those who have high EQ and want others as well as themselves to win.

I"ve spent a lot of my career looking for these high EQ people for leadership positions and found that they often have the following five traits:

• They"re team players. They don"t have personal agendas that overwhelm others needs. They listen. They don"t view the world only through their own lenses or are overly combative. Unfortunately, even though star solo performers can often do great work on their own, they can also quickly dismantle a team if you"re not careful.
• They"re secure and confident. Brashness usually comes from insecurity. The quiet ones, those who are reserved, stable people, are most often unafraid even under stress. They"re the kinds of leaders people will be willing to follow anywhere.
• They"re visionary. They take the long view. They can "see around corners," and they anticipate the long-run, second-, and third-order consequences of every action. They also understand the all-things-considered wisdom of reviewing all of the options before them in any given situation.
• They"re nice. They"re kind and thoughtful on a personal level. This behavior is something I saw firsthand in Trammell, but it is something that I truly learned from my mother, who always said that it costs nothing to say a kind word and to lift others" spirits.
• They"re selfless. They don"t keep score. They do things without any expectation of reward. Those that make helping others succeed a priority often find that it is sometimes repaid. They also know not to change course when the favor isn"t returned. If you can do that, you"ll find legions of fans, friends and teammates who will quietly root for your success.

Conceptually, all of these people-pleasing principles are almost circular in their logic. You"ll want everyone to like you, so that they"ll want you to succeed.

But it"s not that simple.

It"s really about respect. If a tension exists between being respected and being loved, my suggestion is always to choose respect. Eventually, you"ll be loved if you"re respected. But if you"re only loved, respect may not follow.

Remember, too, life is long; it is not a sprint, but is instead an ultra-marathon. You"ll run into the same people over and over, again and again. Make sure they have great memories of you, as a colleague or leader.

They"ll ultimately remember that you were gracious, that you helped them out when they were under pressure, and that you offered a good word on their behalf.

Tech

In a Few Words, Marriott's CEO Just Offered a Statement That Screams a Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

I"m writing this in a hotel room.

But that"s only because I"ve stayed at this hotel for more than 20 years and I"m a sentimental fool. 

Oh, and I once had an indifferent Airbnb experience here in Miami. And the price difference between my hotel and the local Airbnb"s is negligible.

Usually when I"m booking a trip, I look at Airbnb first these days. 

I"ve now had many good experiences, both in the U.S. and abroad.

Indeed, I"ve had truly wonderful Airbnb hosts -- and apartments -- in Oslo and Lisbon, especially -- that made me never want to stay in a hotel again.

This doesn"t worry Airbnb CEO Arne Sorenson.

I know this because he told the New York Times"s delightful Ron Lieber that he"s never even tried Airbnb.

In my naïveté, I"d always thought that one of the principal jobs of a CEO was not just to know your competition, but to get your hands on its product. 

Yet Sorensen explained that "his daughter has [tried Airbnb]. She told him he had nothing to worry about."

What a relief.

Whenever I wonder about a product, all I do is ask one of my Starbucks baristas. If they don"t like it, I know it"s no good. 

Sorenson, though, expanded his views on Airbnb: "They were the toughest competition when they were offering a true sharing-economy product. The more they get to offering dedicated units, which they"ve done as they"ve grown, the more they look like the competition we"ve faced for decades."

However confident you might feel, the reek of complacency can incite the flames of arrogance.

It"s true that Airbnb has strategic challenges.

It may be that ultimately it becomes something different from its current persona. 

What it surely does have, though, is millions of users who have been only too happy to get away from the disturbingly inflated pricing and the nauseating nickel-and-diming of too many hotel groups. (Hey, don"t you just love resort fees? In New York.)

These Airbnb users now have an emotional relationship with the brand. Yes, just as they might have once had with certain hotel brands.

I used to seek out the W Hotels (now owned by Marriott) in cities. I can"t remember the last time I stayed in one.

Airbnb guests are still prepared to forgive its occasional errors, partly because, as they travel the world, they find hosts becoming friends and apartment life becoming far more enjoyable.

Even if they have to make their own beds.

On my last stay in Lisbon, we had a gorgeous 800 square foot apartment in the middle of the city that was one-third of the price of nearby hotel rooms.

Still, some people at Marriott have apparently tried Airbnb. 

The company"s global brand officer Tina Edmundson told Lieber that it was "OK" and "fine."

I know that when my girlfriend tells me something is fine, it means it"s anything from dull to disgusting, depending on her precise intonation.

Edmundson expanded on her thoughts by admitting that "her standards might be particularly high."

Or snooty, you might fear. Or just a touch OCD.

"I like the notion that someone professional has been in and cleaned it," she told Lieber.

Coincidentally, here"s a disturbing headline I just read: "COURTYARD MARRIOTT. YOUR BEDS REALLY BUG ME ...Allegedly Bitten Guest Sues."

Here"s another one along the same lines. 

Marriott isn"t, of course, the only hotel group to be subjected to such issues. Even Airbnb isn"t immune. 

The point, though, is a simple one. 

A new competitor comes along. It"s doing something different. People have warmed to it. Learn from that by really getting to know it and why people love it.

New competitors can be easy to dismiss. Ask then-Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

Yes, that iPhone thing was a real joke.

Imagine what Microsoft shareholders and employees thought about those words a few years later. 

Imagine, too, what Marriott -- and newly-acquired Starwood -- customers might think of Sorenson"s, um, (over?)confidence. 

If you"re the boss, it"s incumbent upon you to experience, not just read or hear about, your competitor"s offering.

You never know what you might discover. 

Humility, for example.

Tech